Orenthal James Man of the Week

First Place: Cedric the Entertainer

He gets my man of the week honor for making my stay in No Fuck, Vagina just a tad more enjoyable with his thoroughly entertaining "Codename: The Cleaner." The laughs keep on coming in this madcap romp. Imagine the Bourne series but with jokes about Jet magazine and Skittles instead of action and plot. The only other work of his that I'm familiar with are those Miller Lite commercials, but apparently he's also been in "Mr. 3,000" and "The Green Mile." I also think he's been in "Who's Your Caddy?" but Sawyer and IMDB disagree for some reason.

Second Place: Nick Cage

For accepting literally any script that comes across his agent's desk. I watched "The Wicker Man" yesterday (I'm really fucking bored here) and it's fantastic. I didn't even know it existed until yesterday, but I'm almost 100% positive that no other actor would have the balls to take such an aggressive role. And by aggressive, of course I mean nearly career ending. He saw the character of Edward Malus as a mix of Cameron Poe, Charlie Kaufman, and Johnny Blaze and executed it perfectly. With awful results. Also, the movie was dedicated to Johnny Ramone.

Third Place: Sam Lutfi

Let me get this straight: This guy, who has no qualifications to do anything, weaseled his way into Britney Spears' life, started making all of her business and personal decisions for her, drugged her, and persuaded her to buy him stuff. And he did all of this within view of millions of people. He's like the kamikaze moocher; just does not give a fuck about who he scams and who can see it. Apparently the LAPD is now investigating him for the whole "2 month Britney Spears date rape" thing, but I think we can all learn a lesson from his intelligence and drive.