For anyone who's fortunate enough to have a pretty nice life, yet manages to do everything humanly possible to run themselves into the ground, constantly waking up a pile of human degradation. Attempts at self improvement prove futile, and day in and day out you become an increasingly distorted and rotten reflection of all the promise that once was.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Shirts for the Orenthal Army

Shirts that define a lifestyle, for better or worse. Mostly the latter.

We were trying to decide what to put on a shirt and we went through bullshit idea after bullshit idea. Kingpin has been on teevee a lot lately, and I've done a lot of thinking about it's relevance and bearing in my life. I've made myself into quite the Roy Munson, but I've done so without a Big Ern to send me down that sad, disheveled path. If anything, I'm my own worst McCrackin. Sometimes when I find myself chin deep in the toilet bowl, barfing up what's left of a vodka dinner after sinking to the lowest depths between my shriveled, gnarled, crab infested landlords legs to cover back rent, I try and think back to the moment I took that decisive wrong turn. And there's been so many decency DUI's that I just can't remember when it started. I don't have a plastic hand to remind me of what once was. I just have hazy memories of a time when I woke up feeling good about the night before. I'm pretty sure if an Ishmael came my way I'd be too busy kicking myself through friendships and walls to see salvation knocking.
Some people can bowl perfect games.
Some people can milk bulls.
Some people can raise a barn.
All I can do is wreck myself.
All I have to offer is violence.

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