Being Single
This dovetails nicely with my earlier condemnation. Seriously, fuck having a girlfriend, or a family, or any meaningful relationships. They just take up your time and sap any semblance of freedom from your daily routine. Look at me: I've been single for god knows how long, but I can blog whenever I want, get blackout drunk all the time, hit on random, unappealing women, and watch re-runs of "Monk" without anyone getting up in my grill about it. Except JQP, who won't admit that the show is both suspenseful AND funny. Girlfriends (or boyfriends, if you read this blog and are somehow either gay or female or both, actually) are the worst offenders of harshing the Orenthal Lifestyle and thus being single receives my endorsement, though perhaps not the endorsement of those in the army that are going steady with a significant other.
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