Orenthal Double Stuff: Endorsement AND Condomnation (hehe, condom)

The Peacock

Thank you, NBC, for finally bringing back a longtime friend who has been out of the public eye for far too long:

That might be your next "Apprentice." I've never seen the show, but I imagine that at some point there might be the opportunity for OJ to get heated. And we all know what that leads to: calm consensus building among a small group of people. He's never shown his violent side to anyone, ever.
Also, if he gets kicked off, think of how incredible it will be when the Donald tells him "You're fired!"!!!!!!!! Oh my god! Laughing out loud!!!! Rofflemayo!!!!! Farts!!!!!

However, NBC can go sit on a cerated butcher's knife smothered in lemon juice for announcing their heir to Conan, Jimmy Fallon, also known as America's hairiest, slimiest, and most contagious vaginal wart. Look at this douchebag:
Whoa, a suit with a hooded sweatshirt!!!?? That's, like, classy and stylish, on top of letting the folks know that you're a power bottom. Not only did this asshole halt the laughter for all SNL sketches he appeared in during the Ferrell years (even Cowbell!!), he ruined MY FUCKING RED SOX WINNING THE WORLD SERIES FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 86 YEARS! Quick back story: Knowing that the Sox were making a run at the trophy, I quit my part time job to watch each and every game. They came back from 0-3 against the Yankees to win, then swept the Cardinals. I'm sitting there with my dad as Renteria hits a ground ball to Foulke for the final out and a wave of appreciation for this team I've lived and died for since I was born envelopes me. What's the next camera shot? Motherfucking Jimmy Fallon making out with Drew Barrymore on the mound for some shitty movie. Hopefully they passed syphilis and crotch rot between each other for that minute.
Anyway, fuck NBC for following up a genius with this mediocre talent.

IOWA

Madmosa Podcast Episode #4 Up Now!

Episode 4: Wannabe Nighthawks

Steve and Sawyer discuss Footjobs, the pros and cons of being either an athlete that peaks too early or an actor that peaks too late, our careers of choice throughout American History, our respective lowest lows of the past week, and Kathleen Turner and Bill Cosby drop in for a surprise interview.

http://madmosashow.podshow.com -the show's page
http://www.mevio.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=109737 -this episode


As we said before, it's totally up in the iTunes store now. If you've already subscribed, right-click "update podcast" if the newest one hasn't shown up yet. If you haven't subscribed, go to the iTunes store and search "Madmosa Podcast" and subscribe. Seriously, subscribing takes all the hassle out of it, new ones will show up in your iTunes all by themselves.

Leave us feedback, let us know what sucks and what rules. You can also forward any fanmail for either of our celebrity guests to madmosa@gmail.com.

Also comment on the iTunes Store page thing. It helps somehow, I think.

Thanks

MATT - endorsement of the day - this video

what can i say?

Madmosa Podcast Episode #3 Up Now!

Episode #3: "I Drove An Hour For This?"---

In Episode 3, the sports episode, we discuss youth sports memories and have a fantasy draft to make the ultimate party crew of current asshole professional athletes. This segment features our special guest Matt Doktor, who takes part in the draft as well. We also analyze our personalities through discussions of coaching womens sports and the consequences of a girl squirting in your bed, and introduce a new segment, "Point-Counterpoint", in which we yell at each other about a new topic every week. This week we discuss my lack of belief in germs and how it relates to Steve flipping out on me all the time.

We also revamp Sawyer and Steve at the Cinema- the segment is now called "What The Fuck Is Your Problem, That Movie Fucking Sucks." We each pick a movie the other likes and attempt to trash it. And lastly in a shocking turn of events, Steve's "Lowest Low Of The Week" actually trumps mine!

You no longer need to go to the podshow site to download it, its totally in iTunes. Just go to the iTunes store and search "Madmosa Podcast" and it'll pop up. You can subscribe or just download them one by one if thats your jam for whatever reason.

The new episode hasn't auto updated yet but that just means it doesn't show up right away when you're in the iTunes store- so once you subscribe or download just either click "refresh" or right click and select "update podcast" and the new one will pop up.

While you're there, review it, comment, whatever.

And if you still wanna go to the podshow thing for whatever reason, http://madmosa.podshow.com

As always, let us know what you think, especially on the "suck" end of the spectrum. I think this is by far the best one we've ever done, but maybe you don't think so! madmosa@gmail.com.

Thanks.

Happy Birthday Bud Dry Man

Sawyer Williams: how was the rest of birthday day
MATT DOKTOR: i destroyed my room and tried to push my computer chair through the floor
Sawyer Williams: sounds like a good one

Orenthal Condemnation #3

Jason Schwartzman

When I was 15, I was really pumped to see "Rushmore." It looked like it had a different blend of humor, interesting plot, and plenty of Bill Murray. It certainly lived up to expectations, and it's been one of my favorite movies since.
Schwartzman was a scene stealer in the flick, and then had a solid follow-up with the terribly underrated "Slackers." After that, he's decided to go down the "I'm a total prick-hipster-asshat" career path, taking roles in "Darjeeling Limited," and "Marie Antoinette." I haven't seen "Dewey Cox," and I've wanted to, but I must say that Schwartzman's appearance as whatever annoying Beatle has been one of my reasons for avoiding it.
To make matters worse, he got to lay down with a naked NatPo in "Hotel Chevalier," Wes Anderson's version of "Brown Bunny," only with Wes jerking off into his mouth instead of getting head from Chloe Sevigny. (Side note: This is the last time I mention NatPo - unless Stefano releases an avant gard sex tape with him wearing a ball gag, covered in candle wax, singing "Freak Me" by 90s immortals Silk, while NatPo shaves off his 90 pounds of pubic hair and lice with a straight razor and buttermilk. If you forget what he looks like, burn this into your brain, cut off your penis, and then try a cyanide taste test.)
I've heard numerous broads say, "Oh, I love Jason Schwartzman, he's so cute," and ignoring the undeniable fact that him and Wes have blowjob fests at each one of their wrap parties. He's a total fake, Phantom Planet sucks balls, and he's probably one of the main reasons that every asshole I see in New York has been wearing fucking corduroy blazers and ties on 95 degree days. If there's a God, they will all choke on tofutti and semen at their next pot luck dinner.
Wes Anderson can go fuck himself, too. "Bottle Rocket" and "Rushmore" were both fucking sick; every movie he made after that became a no-plot, way too stylish shit storm with understated dialogue that was supposed to come off as funny, but was pretentious instead. I hope his loafers slash his achilles tendons, causing Schwartzman to leave him for Adrian Brody.

"Bag of sand" moment of the week

Do you remember the scene 40 year old virgin where Steve Carell is racing home on his bike after a poker game humiliated repeating "BAG OF SAND??? BAG OF SAND???" Well everyone should get that reference unless you're some sort of jerkoff. Anyway, it seems that I have a "bag of sand" moment every week. Maybe it stems from me being immersed in my own personal world throughout most of the day. When caught off guard my reaction seems to be a cross between the "Manning face" and Forrest Gump's reaction as he's sitting outside his mother's bedroom while the principal is giving her the business. Louis C.K.'s bit about this is a total and utter underestimation.

Well my bag of sand moment of the week (4/6 - 4/12) came from a saturday night conversation I had with a girl remain nameless. Long story short, instead of having a witty/clever reply I came back with this gem - "looks like a cat." Now, Steve Carell's "BAG OF SAND?? BAG OF SAND??" moment lasted his bike ride home. Conversely I was haunted with my "LOOKS LIKE A CAT???? LOOKS LIKE A CAT????" moment every spare minute of my week. Maybe if I had came up something clever things would have looked up and turned out better - on second thought probably not.

Orenthal Endorsement #8

Check out my dude Chad's blog. He actually did talk to NatPo the other night, and he gives a recap of that convo as well as his call to her a few days later (you always wait at least 2 days to call a chick, bro). He doesn't update it often, but the posts about his ex-girlfriend are required reading. They're creepy, uncomfortable, and haunting, much like the man who wrote them.

Xoxo y'all

-Dr. Coquetoastan

BEST GRAFFITI EVER.

Madmosa Podcast Episode #2 Up Now!

Episode #2- "69, Dudes!"- Steve and I meet our future selves...sort of.

We discuss our vision of our lives in twenty years with our first guest 'caster, Jim Ogrin. We also discuss future inventions, take another trip to the futuristic cinema, and introduce two new segments: "five answers" and "lowest low of the week." We also introduce the final mash-up of the Hellhole composed theme music, and may or may not ramble on way too long.

Go to the link and click the little iTunes logo, and it will download directly into your iTunes.
http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=107363

as always, the more feedback the better. and the more negative feedback the better. i already think i'm hilarious, so while i appreciate you telling me you think so too, telling us what ISN'T good is actually way more useful.

Thanks for listening, and hopefully it will be up/searchable in the iTunes store so you can subscribe easily.

http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=107363
http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=107363
http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=107363
http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=107363
http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=107363

You Fucked Up, Bro

So I was at a party on Sunday night, and guess who was there?


NatPo, or Natalie Fucking Portman. I was totally shook. Not only is she crazy gorgeous and in rad films - see: Beautiful Girls, The Professional - but she's smart and incredibly charming. At the end of the night, every dude I was with was kicking themselves saying, "Man, I'm so pissed I didn't even attempt to say anything to her." I guess that's part of the attraction to her; she seems to be the opposite of superficial, so every normal, asshole loser (like me and my friends) convinces themselves that, in some perverted, bizarro world way, we could have had a shot. If we just said the right things, drop some Proust knowledge, make a casual reference to a hip indie band, talk about our ambitions (stony voiced "whaaa?"), we could break through and catch the girl of our dreams.

You know what the worst part is? I fell for the trap. Not in the sense that I wish I'd hit on her, because I wouldn't even know how to hit on Kathy Griffin. My regret is that I literally do nothing cool in my life because I don't take huge chances. I have no faith they'll work out in my favor. What would be the harm in embarrassing myself in front of Queen Amidala? Who gives a shit? Yeah, I'd walk away with a red face, but that's better than standing in the corner with my dick between my legs.

Actually, no, that's not the worst part. Today at work, I found out she's dating this dude. This is baffling slash more depressing than finding out that Mila Kunis is dating Macauley Culkin. So now I've decided to grow a beard, wear a Razlet, create some art or whatever, and become the biggest herb on earth because I guess that's what gets you smoking hot celebrities.

Fuck my life.

The Madmosa Podcast

The Madmosa Podcast is a podcast that Steve (Bass) and I (Sawyer, Throat) do once a week. I was going to make it an Orenthal Endorsement, but that would be sort of stupid, even for us.

Episode #1 is up now, Episode #2 will be up later tonight/early tomorrow. Check it out. What passes for a press release follows below...
--------------

A Madmosa is a traditional Mimosa but with Mad Dog Wine substituted for the Orange Juice. Normal life, but shitty. One guy from Albany and one guy from Boston who now live together (JUST AS FRIENDS) in Brooklyn talk about sports, movies, tv, dicks, boobs, cocks, hooters, wieners, tits and life.

Episode #1: "Tit-Joy: The Joy Of Tits"

In our first episode we talk a little bit about ourselves via backassward questioning, review trailers for upcoming movies, take some personality quizzes and discuss the American Pie Franchise in our first installment of the six part "Merits Of The 'Pies."

check it out here: http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=106405

click on the little iTunes logo and it'll automatically pop it into your podcasts section in iTunes.

http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=106405
http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=106405
http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=106405
http://www.podshow.com/shows/?mode=detail&episode_id=106405

Holy Shit We're For Really Real Getting Those Shirts!

...And you can get one for sort-of free!

So I'm actually going to pick up the shirts with my own two hands this weekend and transport them back to the city. Anyone who "orders" (read: paypals $1 for shipping to: grossnation@gmail.com) a demo between now and Sunday when I get back gets a free shirt.

That's a pretty sweet deal. The shirts are pretty boss. Make sure you say what size you want in the paypal thing, along with your address obviously.


On a black shirt. Sweet.

This Pretty Much Sums Up OJ As A Band

Maybe we should change our name to Sex Funeral...