The Peacock
Thank you, NBC, for finally bringing back a longtime friend who has been out of the public eye for far too long:
That might be your next "Apprentice." I've never seen the show, but I imagine that at some point there might be the opportunity for OJ to get heated. And we all know what that leads to: calm consensus building among a small group of people. He's never shown his violent side to anyone, ever.Also, if he gets kicked off, think of how incredible it will be when the Donald tells him "You're fired!"!!!!!!!! Oh my god! Laughing out loud!!!! Rofflemayo!!!!! Farts!!!!!
However, NBC can go sit on a cerated butcher's knife smothered in lemon juice for announcing their heir to Conan, Jimmy Fallon, also known as America's hairiest, slimiest, and most contagious vaginal wart. Look at this douchebag:
Whoa, a suit with a hooded sweatshirt!!!?? That's, like, classy and stylish, on top of letting the folks know that you're a power bottom. Not only did this asshole halt the laughter for all SNL sketches he appeared in during the Ferrell years (even Cowbell!!), he ruined MY FUCKING RED SOX WINNING THE WORLD SERIES FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 86 YEARS! Quick back story: Knowing that the Sox were making a run at the trophy, I quit my part time job to watch each and every game. They came back from 0-3 against the Yankees to win, then swept the Cardinals. I'm sitting there with my dad as Renteria hits a ground ball to Foulke for the final out and a wave of appreciation for this team I've lived and died for since I was born envelopes me. What's the next camera shot? Motherfucking Jimmy Fallon making out with Drew Barrymore on the mound for some shitty movie. Hopefully they passed syphilis and crotch rot between each other for that minute. Anyway, fuck NBC for following up a genius with this mediocre talent.
No comments:
Post a Comment